On Becoming A Creative Person

On Becoming A Creative Person

Source: Google

I used to underestimate creative or artsy people because I was all about academic stuff like the ones you find at school. So, taking a drawing course or spending time at an art center would be a big NO for me. It was me years ago, the person I am now is just the opposite.

I appreciate art and the creativity. I have been working for these past two years to be more creative especially in writing. When I was younger, I used to think that I was not born to be an artist because I could not draw – my drawing was and still is horrible. I could not sing either, I do sing for my own ears. It took ages for me to master some arts like the jahit or rajut thing when I was in junior high school. I could do some styles though at the end and I was really proud of my work. And, finally, I simply believed that I was just not born with art streaming down my blood. That belief stuck in me for years even until I graduated senior high school.

Source: Google

Then, at my first semester of university, I met my speaking lecturer for the first time and was inspired by her right away. I remember reading a book saying that public speaking is an art, I then think that my ability in English speaking can be considered as an art. I am then, after all, is not bad at art. I might just have not found the right type of art.

I enjoy my university life. When I was at my third semester, I had my writing class for the first time. Right then I knew that I would be excel at this class. I had this strong confident from my heart. I then learned to craft a piece after piece. I still remember how thrilled I was when I saw a comment from my lecturer “nice!” on my poem about friendship. I then knew that I might be good at writing. My passion in writing started to grow.

It has been years since that appreciative comment coming to me. I am now claiming myself as an aspiring writer. I hold this belief that I am good at writing, at putting words together, at producing something good to read. Writing is my creativity and my art. This is something that makes me happy to be alive.

I also believe that being able to understand a foreign language is another type of art and creativity. The fact that mastering a language needs skills and strategies is logical enough to call myself a creative person. I now focus on my English like I always do. This particular language is like my soul.

The version of me now believes that creative and artsy people are not nerdy, but just the opposite, cool. I used to underestimate people or guys in a band, I mean, would it be cooler hanging out with engineers and professors? I mean, what is the point of playing music if you end up being penniless? Yes, I was that judgmental.

The opinion about the income of a band thing is still an issue until now. People who work in a creative industry have been the soft target of this delicate issue. But, looking at the reality, doing creativity in this country indeed will not give us much. I, to be really honest, will take my writing as my side job, with teaching as my main one. I am still not sure how writing will take me, but still, I am not giving it up.

My old perspective about creative people has long gone. I now perceive creative people as cool and inspiring ones. I also perceive arts and creativity from many angles. Creative people are not only the ones who draw and paint, but also the ones who write. They are not only the song writers, but also the video makers. They are not only the designers, but also the teachers. I mean, creativity has a lot ranges that I have not discovered. All people are actually born with creativity side with them, the types are just not the same.

Source: Google

So, my appreciation to creative people grows bigger each day. As I am busy watching You Tubers on their videos, I then think how many creative people out there and how cool they all are. I no longer over praise people at schools or those who excel at their academic life, and I no longer under praise the ones who excel at other things like music and film. Each of us has our own talents, it is our job to discover and direct them.

I am still obsessed about becoming a (more) creative person, and I wish one day I can expand my creativity to film making, painting, illustrating, etc. Right now, I will take writing as my most creative medium. I surely will focus on this now and ever, as you might predict.

Lastly from me, even if it is cool to have degrees and be so good at sciences, but would not it be nicer to have other skills such as in web designing, writing stories, painting, and even public speaking? I mean, to always learn and improve ourselves, so we can maximize our both parts of brain.

Source: Google

Cheers to creativity!

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Reuniting with High School Sweethearts

Reuniting with High School Sweethearts

Last Sunday was such a blast for me and my high school mates. As planned, we held a breakfasting feast at Dini’s house. I and my girls had prepared for that very carefully and passionately. Having a breakfasting feast like that is like our annual event that we hold to catch up with each other. Time surely flies and we do not want to be so lost contact.

Sunday afternoon was cloudy though. It was raining cats and dogs. I and my friends had a hard time reaching Dini’s house that day. I arrived the first though. I went straight into Dini’s room and we chatted while waiting for others.

We prepared the drink, food, and fruit. Our friends one by one came and headed straight into upstairs. Around 6 p.m., we were all together and broke our fast by drinking the fruit beverage and eating fried snacks. We then performed Magrib prayer and enjoyed the meal together.

It was nice eating together with them after a long time. I did not greet my friends one by one though, especially the boys. We were still not very close towards each other. But, I definitely had a blast with my girlfriends. Kartika also had a blast herself, she even had this idea to buy the balloons for our property.

I missed my classmates. Some of them could not make it that day. I wanted to talk to my friends that evening, but there was just this boundary we could not remove yet. The boundary that made intimacy difficult to have.

Despite the individualism and the awkwardness, we had a fun taking pictures together. It is true that taking pictures really unite people together.

They might not be the best pals I wish I have, but they are just the people who really colored my senior high school moments bright. We had been through a lot of stuff together and that memory would last forever. So, thanks 12 IPS B, cheers for more years to come!

A Special Dinner with DIMMS

A Special Dinner with DIMMS

There are so many stories that I would like to share here. First thing first, a story of my special dinner with my girls. Well, since this is Ramadhan, then it was a special breakfasting.

Last Tuesday was supposed to be our movie and dinner date. We planned to watch the most anticipated movie, The Conjuring 2 at the theater and then we would have a nice breakfasting together. We met at our usual mall around 3 p.m. I met Miftah first and we were surprised to see how many people were already there lining in front of the ticket counter. We were hopeless to know that the movie tickets were almost sold out. The only available seat was in the front row and the available time was around 7 p.m. We were heartbroken. We surely cancelled our movie date that day.

It was not like we did not try or something. We visited almost three cinemas to watch the movie that day but it was in vain. We then decided to give that up and just headed to one fine restaurant to have a breakfasting. We opted for D’Cost that day which was very unlike us. We headed to D Mall still in Depok neighborhood and soon had our reservation.

Tired and disappointed, we waited for 30 minutes or so until the restaurant opened. During the wait, I talked with Miftah basically about our respective thesis-writing process. Well, sometimes I got bored talking about it, but the topic seemed inevitable for us nowadays. While I and Miftah had a nice talk, the other girls had their way to the nearest praying room. When they got back, I and Miftah were already inside the restaurant and reserved our seats. We got the outdoor space which was both nice and windy. We felt a bit fancy that day.

The clock showed 5.15 p.m. when we were busy choosing the meals from the menu. We had a hard time deciding which food we should order. We finally ordered pretty many foods though – the fish, crispy mushrooms, beansprouts, chicken, shrimps, and even omelette. Here is the look of our full table that evening:

We loved all of the foods we had. We refilled our glasses several times, we took many plates of sambal, and we prepared extra rice that ended up being untouched because we were full already after the first portion.

It was such a lovely evening with my girls. Of course, we were still mad about cancelling the movie date, but the foods clearly cheered us up. During our dinner, we talked a lot about our upcoming class breakfasting, our theses (still), and our hang out plans in the  future. That night, we were not worried about the price of our dinner, we were not stressed over the fact that we would be going home broke, we were just happy to have this lovely dinner together. It had been a while since our last time catch-up, so going fancy would be just fine.

After filling our stomachs with the delicious foods, we took some selfies together just because it was mandatory to mark that special dinner.

We took several pictures and did some editing. Just like any other normal teenagers (are we still qualified to be called one? well), we then uploaded the pictures on our social media. Shasa and Icha was long busy with their Path accounts since we got there. As we edited our pictures, we thought about the potential nice caption that would be written along the pictures. I, who claimed myself as a writer, obviously thought hard for that. I then came up with something like, “Memories are not found, but they are created”, looking at what we were doing right there, making time to see each other again in the middle of our busy schedules.

Soon, the caption was agreed on, liked, and used. Being silly, I proposed the word “uhuy” at the end of it as well. My girls then proposed that we could use our name order to mark our picture because we were gonna use the same caption and probably for the same picture. It was silly, I know, it was like the thing that senior high school students would do. Even so, we were happy and that was what mattered most.

That night was special because of the togetherness and the food. To fix our mood, we planned to watch the movie on Monday together and we were determined not to have another breakfasting because we were broke. I think that having that lovely dinner was nice to do once in a while. The price was really worth it plus it was not too expensive anyway, it was pretty affordable especially when you dined with a lot of people just like I did with my girls.

We went home around 8 p.m. that night and I went home with Icha by train. It turned out that I enjoyed train ride especially with that easy route. I might use train more often in the future because it was faster and cheaper. Finally, it was such a day and we totally had a blast.

Reuniting with #EED12A

Reuniting with #EED12A

I am finally here writing again on my blog. I am finally writing something that is not academic related. Yeah! The last two days had been spent by writing two major reports this semester. It was exhausting but rewarding at the same time. This post, as you can guess, will be about my reunion with my class.

So, we have been separated by our own things related to our teaching practice. We hardly see each other, we face our own lives and challenges, we hardly communicate as well. The only communication we have is the one we do through WhatsApp. This week was such a blast for us, not only that we could finally see each other again although because of the reports submission, we would also finally have our small yet intimate reunion after almost four months of separation.

It was started when Inten jokingly invited us to have a breakfasting together or the so called bukber. She, furthermore, pointed to Sasya and kindly asked her to be the host. Sasya agreed on that and the rest of the plan just fell into place perfectly. The place was ready, the time was finally set, the transportation was arranged. Everything was set. We were so excited.

Last Thursday was the day. I packed my bag and headed to my campus around 10 a.m. would catch up with my girls and did some errands first. I headed to Language Center of my campus and saw my girls there. We were there to do a TOEFL Test registration. It was awkwardly funny – seeing my girls again. We were happy to see each other again. We finally did the registration, and once we were done, we headed to the kosan.

As I arrived at the kosan, I found Inten at her room with a blanket covering her body. She was still the same, the same funny weird Inten I knew since the day one. We then talked, we just basically caught up with our respective lives. It was very nice – being there and talking to those funny bitches. I am feeling nostalgic as I am writing this. That kosan has been our place for years. There were many many sweet memories happened there.

We then got ready and headed to the train station. We set off around 1.30 p.m. We went to Sasya’s house by train and well, a car ordered through grab car application. It was such a new adventure for us. We were finally on our way to Sasya’s house. The train trip took around 1 hour and 3o minutes. We did not talk much on the train as we were tired from the hunger and thirst. It was raining when we were at Duri Station. Luckily though, it was crystal clear at Tangerang Station.

Done with our train trip, we continued our journey by car. It was nice and noisy in the car. We were so chatty that we could talk about anything. It took us around 30 minutes or so to finally get to Sasya’s house. We finally arrived around 3. 30 p.m. We went inside and greeted Sasya’s family. We then relaxed our bodies after that long exhausting journey.

Everything was almost ready – Sasya’s mother surely knew how to welcome and pamper her guests. Once we heard the azan, we directly dig in to the super fresh fruit ice. We were still worried though because the rest of us had not arrived yet. We had our meals first and we totally enjoyed that. Around 6.30, the rest of our friends came. It was pretty fun even when we were not a full team. Some of our folks could not join us for some reasons.

Right after the eating session, we then moved on into the photo session. Our photo session lasted for hours. We had an informal photo session with the selfies and stuff and we also had a formal one just like this.

Next, we were just chilling out and enjoyed the rest of the meals. Ummi surely ate a lot that night. As we were enjoying our meals, Sahlan did a brief yet meaningful introduction and speech. He was followed by Fitri who also gave a speech about the bukber and us as well. One thing we knew that night that we loved our togetherness and the next togetherness we surely hoped would be our together graduation this year *fingers-crossed*.

Out of nowhere, Inten suddenly showed up ready with something she made for us. It was a short movie showing our photos. The photos were mostly taken during our respective teaching program. It was short yet nice. We then gathered around and took some more selfies. Then, around 8 p.m., we got ready to go home.

Some of us went home while some us (me included) went to kosan. As planned, I and Dila and other bitches (yes, get used to that special call :p) went to the kosan by car. We then headed home around 8. 30 p.m. The journey back home was nice – we were just chilling out in the car and talking and laughing. The driver was patient enough with super chatty girls like us. It took around 1 hour and 30 minutes to finally reach Ciputat.

Among many absurd things we talked in the car, kebab was the one that captured our focus most. Yeah, we promised ourselves to buy kebab when we arrived. Sadly though, there was no kebab seller around campus that night. We waited there for a few more minutes making sure Mbake was waiting for her father safely. Once Mbake left, we then headed to Mc Donalds to have some burgers. Crazy, I know. It was Akira’s idea actually. Burgers for the replacement of kebab, why the heck not?

We had Inten join us and off we went. We ordered burgers, french fries, and iced teas. We ate them all in the smoking room because Inten got her pack of cigarettes ready. It was obviously my first time enjoying late night supper outside like that. We then talked almost about anything. We talked about our bitchy friends, our love lives, our relationships. We surely enjoyed our time together that we forgot that it was already 2 p.m. in the morning. What? we called out the night then feeling recharged with the good food and talk. We walked back home awkwardly happy.

As we arrived at the kosan, we changed our clothes and unwrapped the food Sasya gave us for sahoor. It was around 3 p.m. when we finally laid our bodies on bed. We did not sleep, we were just there laying and talking. We had our sahoor around 3.30 p.m. and then performed the Subh prayer together. It was literally the first time we could do the solat berjamaah like that. Yes, we were not really religious but still, we tried our best. We then had this awkward video call with Sasya with us still wearing mukena.

And after that video call, we could finally sleep. We arranged our sleep spaces and soon enough we fell asleep. It was my first sleepover at the kosan. I could finally sleep right next to Inten who opened her mouth very big (mangap). It was really funny.

We woke up around 10 a.m. or so. We had a good sleep obviously. Once we were awake, we still Ieyeh-leyeh on the bed and postponed taking a bath. Suddenly, we had this very big urge to check on Ummi’s phone and read her special chat. She fought us of course, but we ended up winning and reading that chat loudly. It was super entertaining. We did not anticipate that very sweet yet lame chat coming from our friend, Ummi. She was totally blushing when we read every sentence in that chat.

Done with the fun stuff, we took a bath and got ready to re-schedule our TOEFL Test. We then headed to the language center around 1. 30 p.m. and had our test rescheduled. We took some selfies outside the building and then headed home respectively.

So, that was the super fun reunion with my class. As we arrived home, we downloaded many photos taken during the bukber. They were all good. They surely captured good times we had that night.

Looking back, we did have many good memories together as a class. Now, as we are busy with our own theses, we really cherish our time together no matter how short it is. Our very hope now is that we can finish our theses well and graduate together this year.

Friendship is good, that is all I can say. Bye for now.

Heart and Its Broken Pieces

Heart and Its Broken Pieces

I once read that we write best when our hearts broken, we write best when our souls crushed, we write best when our brains cannot think straight.

It is painful to know that the best pieces are born from the very depressed hearts, it is miserable to know that the more hurt we are, the better our pieces will be.

Shit.

It is also weird to know that I tend to swear a lot either when I am sad or brokenhearted or upset. It can be all three. Shit.

I hope my love problems are bigger and much more complex than this.

I hope my heart and its broken pieces can be mended – or at least – entertained.

I hope I cannot hope anymore, especially to the creatures called men.

Shit.

Other girls will be upset over their men cheating on them or over their over protective boyfriends. I wish I were upset over the same things too. Not the cheating on me, though. You get my point.

The fact that I have never been in a serious or even in a relationship is sad enough to begin with. I will probably call myself very unlucky in love. I am lucky in anything else, but never in love. Suck.

I have my heart broken over and over. I have my heart broken not by my asshole boyfriend or by my coward ex. I simply have my heart broken by people whom I cannot call mine. This has always been like this. Suck.

I have this wall covering my heart. I am not hurt by any men, I am respected well enough by men I know, but I never loved more either. My problem has always been letting myself expect like crazy and end up being so fucking disappointed. It is true, then, expectations lead to disappointments.

I have always been this cautious then regarding my love life. I am afraid of being disappointed again. But, life sometimes can be pretty good and exciting, and there is one or two men coming on my way. So, I expect again, I live, I cherish this awkward moment of falling in love.

It is funny how happiness can fool me to let my guard down, to let someone, once again, has power over me. It is not that I am afraid of being in love. I am just, well.

I am always fast to speculate, to assume, to think, that someone might be interested in me. I still believe in love, after all. I still believe that my personality is interesting enough for someone to come and stay. I am all wrong, after all.

I am sweet, super sweet. I am bitter, thanks to this miserable love life. I am just so done with expecting, with being one-sided, with falling without the chance of being loved back. I am pathetic, in short.

Falling in love is one of the best feelings any human beings can feel. It is a blessing. Being loved in return is a greater blessing that I am still lacking. All this time, I chase someone that is too far from where I stand, who is totally out of my reach. All this time, I always love hard, no matter what. I am dedicated and passionate, I am supportive and caring, I can be all he wants. But, the suck thing is, he never wants me.

Falling in love is great until you reach the point where you are the one who loves. One-sided sucks as hell. That is my all time problem. I always believe in possibilities, I am optimistic, yet I end up being crushed by my own expectations and optimism.

Falling in love is great until you reach the point where you find out that he is into someone else and you just know you need to stop trying. The suck part is you will be left with yourself, no one will come to check on you. It will be you picking up your broken pieces.

And you will be there again, starting the same thing again, lifting yourself up and moving on. You will feel terrible and broken all over again. You will blame yourself for being easy enough, for using your heart and not your head, for falling in the first place. And you will move on promising yourself to guard your heart again, and this time, stronger. You will build the wall again to protect you from anyone who will tear you down. You will use it to protect yourself from the pain and sorrow that you do not want to bear again in the future. You will use it to protect the broken pieces.

You cannot blame the person, you blame yourself. It is you who expect and assume anything after all. It is you who conclude things, to imagine things the way you want when everything is still unclear. Suck.

It is suck, being disappointed. It is suck, knowing that you are the one who lets it happen. It is suck, realizing that you are the one who hurts yourself.

 

It’s Almost Over

It’s Almost Over

Oh, hi there, I am back! It has been ages since the last time I wrote here. Life has kept me busy for a while to the point that I just keep postponing things including writing. Anyway, these past two weeks have been crazy with the teaching reports at the school and hunting the important signatures. It has been bitter and sweet as well dealing with the last days at the school.

All and all, let me write you a recap of my teaching program these past few weeks. I and my partners in crime were all busy with our respective reports. We also got many exciting events together at the school like joining the so called senam gembira on Friday morning, celebrating Iki’s birthday with the students, giving our last touching presentations in our respective classes, and having our eyes teary with the students. The last moments were so good and sweet. I cannot believe that four months have gone pretty fast.

With the fun teachers after a morning exercise

The teaching program has kept us busy and stressed. We surely have a good time at the school with the students, fellow teachers, and all people at the school. We love our office that feels really homey. We love the school that becomes a great part of our academic journey. We love its friendly and welcoming environment. But, after the teaching program ends, we have this super headache due to the reports that we need to write. So, the burden doubles, huh? we are already tired at the school – with the teaching, monthly reports, students evaluation, etc. Now, we need to brace ourselves for writing the reports. It is both bitter and sweet. Bitter is to write the so many reports especially the research ones; sweet is knowing the fact that we are almost there, finishing our teaching program as well as our undergraduate education.

The highlight of this week or month was surely the official closing at the school. Yeah, the official closing of our teaching program or practice or as we call it PPKT. It was a really hectic day as we prepared the snacks for all teachers, attended the closing ceremony with our lecturer, and finally, took an appropriate picture together. It was really nice of Mrs. Yami to bring a plastic of pem-pek for us after the closing. We were really starving after the chaotic closing arrangement. Thankfully though, the closing went really well.

Our new family

Anyway, other highlights were when I came to Anggi’s house to give the snacks money and talk to her about the whole closing preparation and when Anggi and Iki come to my house to prepare our reports together. It was fun as we laughed a lot, got stressed together, had a lunch together, and formed an even stronger bond.

Looking back at our teaching practice for almost four months, there are many life lessons I get from this experience. They are all great, even the most hurting and frustrating ones. Even so, I still cannot make up my mind whether to be a really dedicated teacher one day or not. I mean, during the program, I have been telling my partners how exhausted I am and how depressed sometimes I am dealing with my noisy students. But, there are some days when I feel really grateful that I teach them, when they are really nice and cooperative, and when I read their impressions and hopes for me. Those nice moments get my eyes teary. Being a teacher, indeed, gives you the mixed feelings everyday.

As for my writing, I am pretty displaced nowadays as I keep postponing writing here. It feels like I do not have any strong reasons to write or maybe I am just simply too tired to write. Yeah, life exhausts me pretty easily nowadays. It also bores me easily or I am easily complaining now. Well, let me write about it in the next post.

So, that is all for now. I am still busy with the reports, but I am thankful that the PPKT is almost over. I will miss my students, of course, and I will be pretty jobless after this, but we will just see later. Bye!