It has been three months or so since the first time I was officially introduced at the school. It has been three months and I am still going strong like ever. These past three months have been both sweet and bitter.
My teaching practice has been going well although the classes that I teach are becoming more and more challenging. I am more tired like my minds are being split up between teaching my actual class and my research class. Not too mention the students in both classes that are equally noisy and challenging.
I must say that I begin losing my faith and passion in teaching. This teaching practice, turns out, exhausts me up to the point where I want to stop pursuing a career in teaching. Well, I first think that maybe there is something wrong with me, but after talking with my teaching colleague, Iki, experiencing that kind of feeling is absolutely normal.
Anyway, talking about teaching practice update, I am still pretty much busy with teaching preparation; execution; research; and reports writing. My mind is pretty much filled with those things. Little time do I have thinking about anything else like hanging out or buying new books. Next, my bond with my two teaching colleagues, Iki and Anggi, are getting stronger. It is really good to work together with them. We actually recently had our first Kartini’s Day at school where we MUST wear the so called kebaya. Well, Iki and Anggi were doing fine with their beautiful kebaya, but me? not so much. Just quick information, I do not have any kebaya at home. My mother even had to go to the nearest mall to get me one and it was not even a kebaya. It was just, you know, a formal attire any women would wear to a wedding reception. Even so, the event was such a blast with us three being the best supporters judges.
In our third month of teaching practice, we now have a tighter relationship with the teachers in our BK office. They are all like our mothers who genuinely care about us. One of them is Mrs. Muji who frequently asks us “how is our theses going?”. I know that is such a bitter question to answer but a motivational one as it can boost our spirit to really get our theses “going”. I personally regard this office as my home – a very comfortable place to work and also to write. I love writing at the office especially when I have some free time. I, however, do not regard the school as my home, and I do not really know why.
Talking about teaching practice update, we are still busy writing our monthly reports that are so demanding and still getting to know our students. Our students are nice and naughty at the same time. I have this kind of love and hate relationship with them. And talking about love, I somehow have a crush on one of my students. Yes, I know, I know, feel free to judge, but I just cannot help it but realized that I do like this particular student of mine.
There are many things to share actually that are still teaching practice related. I have been planning for quite some time to write about my teaching strategies and process here, but haven’t really sat and written about that until now. I must give you another “later” for this. In one word though, I can tell you that my teaching practice is so far so good.
Doing this teaching practice gives me the happiness and bitterness I cannot really describe. When I am really stressed out, all I want is to just stop teaching and changing career. I often think about changing my career from teaching to writing. I now feel more passionate and excited about writing than teaching. Well, let us say that I am still in a dilemma and therefore cannot really choose between teaching and writing (yet). I might be doing both in the future.
There are times when I feel valued and loved by my students. Those special moments really make my day. I love my students and care about them deeply, but their very indescribable attitudes really make me hopeless sometimes. Not to mention my sensitive feelings that often take things, no matter how small they are, personally.
So, I guess that is all for this update. Everything is good and manageable so far. One thing is sure now – I am always looking forward for weekends. My goal now is to have a future career or job that makes me stop looking forward for weekends. Just wish me luck!