Can I?

Can I?

The day I knew his name, I did not know that it would change my life until this very day.

I certainly do not know him so much, he does not even know that I am exist. We live in two different worlds – separated, far away.

I keep telling myself not think about it, about him, not too imagining something I know impossible. Am I too pessimistic? Well.

It is just because I like him, I cannot tell how much I like him. I just do.

He is like a male version of me. He is like a male character in my imaginary story.

I cannot tell why I like him – is it because of his popularity, intelligence, face? I cannot tell. He is attractive even in the simplest way.

Do I want him? I cannot tell. I am afraid of the idea of wanting him like that. We never meet before.

That is perhaps I keep telling myself that I am not beautiful, I do not deserve him, he deserves more. I stop dreaming about him right away.

But the complicated part is when I realize that I like him, that even in my busiest days, I can think of him. It is crazy.

One quote says, “Do not give up on something you cannot go a day without thinking of.” If so, I cannot give up then.

He is just too good to be true, I cannot bear the idea of having his with another woman.

I do not know, he is inspiring me with the song from his tumblr. He is not that special, I like him though. The thing is, I fall in love with his soul. His physical appearance is just a bonus.

I do not know what happens next, all I know is we live in different places, different dimensions. He is living in my favorite place,  a city that I have been dying to visit. And I am here, struggling with my life and dreams, struggling to make my parents proud. I cannot think of something else now, though I want.

I do not know what happens next, all I know is if I have a wish list, he will be in it. I can guarantee.

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